She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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