bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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