I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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