Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
