Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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