so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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