I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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