I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
