Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
