There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
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