happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
