Your face is a jimmy john
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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