There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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