My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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