I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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