I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
