I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
