i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
