Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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