So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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