Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
