aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
