4 words: hood of his car
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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