Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
