I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
