Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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