what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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