One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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