actually, I'm a sock model
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
