Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Boobs speak an international language.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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