Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
