i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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