Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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