it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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