His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize