having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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