I'm jealous of your bromance
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
