I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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