The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
