im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
