Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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