:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
