Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
