I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
