Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
