Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
