wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
