My vagina just recognized that song.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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