so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
