I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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