Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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