Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
