There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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