Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize