im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
