He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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