I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
