This girl is more easily done than said...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
