Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
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