The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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