using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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