That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
