Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
